Category: Entertainment

RICHER OR POORER

Which ONE ARE YOU..

LARRY or HARRY?
Larry and Harry, two homeless men were given a chance to travel to a third world country on an all-expenses paid trip. They were told to carry nothing and return with nothing…
They were to make sure they spend all that was given to them. Provision had been made for their expenses and welfare which they would get upon arrival at their destination. 

The only caveat was that neither of them knew when they would be asked to return home. 
As they arrived, they were both given a huge sum of money and a credit card with no limits, but reminded to spend it all before returning to their home country. At this, they became instantly wealthy by local standards.
 Harry thought to himself “Wow!

This is my opportunity to live like a king for I don’t know how long this would last”. So he went and rented a Ferrari and rented the best room in the best hotel in town. 
He went to the best stylist, shaved and transformed his looks. He had parties everyday. Everyone in the city thought the cars and the wealth were his and they loved and respected him for it. 
But..
At the back of his mind, Harry knew he would go back home someday and leave all of it behind but he didn’t want to think about it.
Right now he was living in the moment and enjoying himself to the fullest…
Larry, on the other hand rented a small Honda to get him around town and stayed in a modest inn. He thought to himself “This money will not last and I don’t know when I am going back so I have to do something tangible with it.” He decided to use it to change some people’s lives while there was still time.
So he got busy, went out on the streets and started making a difference. He didn’t just give away money, rather he tried to help

people be self-sufficient. He paid off all the school fees of some promising young ones to enable them get an education and take

care of themselves and their families. 
He found some responsible adults and funded them in a business that guaranteed they would be able to take care of their family and create employment. He devised a means of helping some of the homeless people get off the street and getting them into a trade for he thought “I wish someone would do this for me when I get back”. In short, while Larry was there, he was busy changing lives…

Then after just two months they were suddenly notified that it was time to go back.

They hadn’t even finished spending all the money but still had to leave it all. 

They both said their goodbyes and headed for the airport. At the airport they were given their original clothes to put back on before boarding the plane back to their country…
Harry reminisced on the good times he had but wasn’t too happy that he was going back to his old life. How would he readjust to being homeless? 
Larry on the other hand felt good. He came with nothing and is leaving with nothing, but he at least helped others with a chance at life and that alone meant the world to him.

Readjusting to being a homeless person wouldn’t be a problem because he never lived like the wealth was his anyway and always had it at the back of his mind that he would leave it all someday.
But…

Little did they know that each moment they spent on vacation was being secretly recorded and they would be rewarded accordingly.
Now, which one do you think would be cast back out to the slums as a homeless person and which one would be entrusted with large sums of wealth and position of authority?

 The same goes with our lives here on earth. 
We are sent here on a mission and will return empty handed except for the recordings of our dealings here on earth. Yet, many of us walk around thinking that the wealth we have is ours to keep forever. We look at ourselves in the mirror and think that what we see will always be there, forgetting that we are wearing a temporary cloth, a human body, that would be required of us before we leave this world. 
Our vacation on earth is but a short time while eternity is forever. How we spend this vacation determines how we get to spend eternity.
So….
HOW ARE YOU LIVING YOUR LIFE?

ARE YOU LARRY OR HARRY?
Think about itโ€ผโ€ผโ€ผ

ENTERTAINMENTย 

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚I cant stop laughing, I just love these kids…
*Teacher:* How old is your father?

*Kid:* He is 6 years.

*Teacher:* What? How is this possible?

*Kid:* He became father only when I was born.

Logic!!๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ˜ณ
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Children Are Quick and Always Speak Their Minds

_______________________________

*TEACHER:*   Joseph, go to the map and find North America . 

*JOSEPH:*        Here it is. 

*TEACHER:*  Correct.  Now class, who discovered America ? 

*CLASS:* Joseph.๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ‘ป
_______________________________

*TEACHER:*   Wale, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? 

*WALE:*  You told me to do it without using the tables.

๐Ÿ—„๐Ÿ“๐Ÿ“•๐Ÿ“˜๐Ÿ““_____________________________

*TEACHER:*  Adigun , how do you spell ‘crocodile?’ 

*ADIGUN:*     K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’ 

*TEACHER:*  No, that’s wrong 

*ADIGUN:*      Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.   

(I  Love this child) ๐ŸŠ๐ŸŠ

____________________________

*TEACHER:*  Rebecca , what is the chemical formula for water? 

*REBECCA :*   H I J K L M N O. 

*TEACHER:* What are you talking about? 

*REBECCA:*  Yesterday you said it’s H to O.   ๏ฟฝโ€โ™€๏ฟฝโ€โ™‚

____________________________

*TEACHER:* Moses, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago. 

*MOSES:*      Me! ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚

____________________________

*TEACHER:*   Abraham, why do you always get so dirty?         

*ABRAHAM:*       Well, I’m a  lot closer to the ground than you are.    ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ  

____________________________

*TEACHER:* George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Peter , do you know why his father didn’t punish him? 

*PETER:*          Because George still had  the axe in his hand……     ๐Ÿ”จ๐Ÿ”จ

______________________________ 

*TEACHER:*      Buwembo, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s.. Did you copy his? 

*BUWEMBO :*      No sir, It’s the same dog.   ๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ•

(I want to adopt this kid!!!) 

____________________________

*TEACHER:*    Femi, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? 

*FEMI:*     A teacher ๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ‘บ

_______________________________

_PASS  IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH! LAUGHTER  IS THE SOUL’S MEDICINE!!_

๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜‚๏ฟฝ๐Ÿ˜๏ฟฝ

DOUBLE STANDARDย 

“WHEN BLACK IS WHITE AND WHITE IS BLACK….
1. When a white Christian American or British uses a gun or bomb to kill people, they are labelled as mentally deranged gunmen or bombers!
2. When a black Christian American or British uses a gun or bomb to kill people, they are called gangsters!
3. When an Arab Muslim or African Muslim uses a gun or bomb to kill people, they are called terrorists!
4. In Nigeria, if terrorists from the Niger Delta use guns and bombs to destroy people and infrastructure, they are called militants! But if they are from northern Nigeria, they are called terrorists or insurgents!
5. In the same Nigeria, if Shekau wants to break up Nigeria and wants to “secede” a portion of it for his brand of Islamic nation, he is called a terrorist! But when a certain Nnamdi Kanu wants to also break up Nigeria, and wants to “secede” a portion of it for a so called Biafra Republic, he isn’t called a terrorist but an AGITATOR!
Okay, just in case you don’t understand my gist, I mean to say that some people prefer to call rapists as sex abusers just to make them look less bad!”

PEOTIC JUSTICE

  • Combinations

* Look at combinations of Knowledge observe its impact: *
1 – ignorance + poverty = criminality
2 – ignorance + wealth = Corruption
3. Ignorance + Freedom = Chaos
4- Ignorance + Power = Tyranny
5 – Ignorance + Religion = Terrorism
* NOW, Replace the place of ignorance with knowledge and see what happens
1- Knowledge + Poverty = Contentment
2 – Knowledge + Wealth = Creativity
3 – Knowledge + Freedom = Happiness
4- Knowledge + Power = Justice
5- Knowledge + Religion = Integrity

Application for Employment

A friend sent me this and I found it so amazing and hilarious and thought you would enjoy it as well

Dear Sir,
APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT
I refer to the recent death of the Accountant at your office and hereby apply for the job as a replacement of the dead Accountant.

Each time I apply for employment, I get a reply that there is no vacancy but in this case, I have caught you red handed and you have no excuse because while I was in my hometown for holidays I heard the good news about his death so I quickly rushed back to attend the funeral to be sure that he was truly dead before applying.
Attached to my letter is a copy of my CV and his obituary photograph as proof of vacancy.
You can’t lie to me this time. GIVE ME THE JOB! 

RESTRUCTURE BRAHAHA

On Cheap talk and lack of basic knowledge of history 
“1999 constitution is a quasi-replica of the 1979 constitution. Its drafting was spearheaded by 3 legal luminaries Rotimi Williams,  Richard Akinjide and Ben Nwabueze.  The constitution drafting Committee had 59 members ( 40 from the south and 19 from the North ) and submitted to the constituent assembly for ratification. The lopsided membership in favour of the south was repeated at the 2014 Confab under GEJ) that they insist in implementing over and above the powers of the National Assembly.  Those who are now shouting to high heavens against the 1999 constitution are students of the same trio who drafted the 1979 in the first place which was replicated in the 1999 constitution that they love to tag as military imposed constitution for a new one. The military did not impose any constitution. Despite their incursions, the military was responsible for using it’s fiat to put together basic infrastructure including all the states ( except Midwestern state in the first Republic), the politicians are fond of bickering even if projects are of national interests. The politicians did not create a single LG either. We should appreciate the military as the only disciplined group to have held this country together. Talk, blackmail,  shifting blames in the name of freedom and democracy are cheap.  Imagine half of the National Assembly is full of civil society and military,  Anticorruption laws would have been passed and loots recovered in weeks for the use of all Nigerians. The bail funds wouldn’t have been diverted, nor shall we see over  60 Senior Advocates in one court to defend one person.”

“Aย SINCERE APOLOGY”

A SINCERE APOLOGY:

A man received this message from his neighbor.

“Sorry sir, I have been using your wife day and night when you are not at home, in fact much more than you do.

I confess this now because I am feeling very guilty.

Hope you will accept my sincere apologies. I will pay if you wish to charge service fee.

Immediately after reading the message, the man shot his wife dead.

A few minutes later, he received another message:
“Sorry sir, a spelling mistake…
I meant _*WiFi*_ not ~Wife~.”

We must be very careful how we react to things, don’t be quick to get angry, find out the other person’s version of events and allow yourself room to reason before you react. This man killed his innocent wife, just because of a spelling mistake.

Patience is a Virtue.
Let this serve as a caution to us all, be slow to get angry. Anger opens the door to other deadly sins. Always look before you leap. May God help us all. Amen.