Category: Comedy

CHOP CHOP PALAVER

*DIFFERENT GRADES OF CHOPPING IN GOVERNMENT.* 🇳🇬
_* When U chop alone in government and no one chop with U, dem dey call that one *OBJ.*_
_* When U chop in government, come allow others to chop their own, that is called *IBB.*_
_* When U chop in government, come bring democracy and people come forget say U chop, that is called *Abdusallam.*_
_* When U chop in government and the place U are choping eventually fold up, that is called *Atiku.*_
_* When U dey chop in government, U no remember your driver, secretary, office assistants, that is called *Gowon.*_
_* When U dey chop alone in government, no remember anybody, so tay dem come drive U comot, that one is called *Shonekan.*_
_* When dem just appoint U for government position, and U just chop small, auditors kon come say bring all papers, that is called *Nwodo.*_
_* When U chop in government and U die while chopping, that is called *Abacha.*_
_* When U chop and drink in government so tey U come intoxicate, and others come dey do U wayo, dey chop their own join, that is called *Goodluck Jonathan.*_
_* When U over-chop in government and U call your friends to come chop their own, that is called *Ibori.*_
_* When U chop and clean mouth like say U no chop anything, that is called *Fashola.*_
_* When U chop in government, come dey abuse people wey give U opportunity to chop, that one is called *El-Rufai.*_
_* When U chop from government, come spread your boys for government, dem dey chop U dey chop, dem dey chop U dey chop, that one is called *Tinubu.*_
_* When U chop in government so teeey U scatter ground, three houses for America, two for London, six for Maitama, seven for V.I, as madam dey go shopping for Dubai, children dey go summer for Spain, EFCC kon gbab U, that one is called *Diezani.*_
_* When U chop well well for government and people know say U chop well well but U dey deny say U chop well well, that one is called Rotimi *Amaechi.*_
_* When U chop in government so tay U come even dey richer than the place U dey chop from, that one is called *Rochas.*_
_* When U chop and chop so tey U come tire, come begin dey distribute the chopping to other people, that one is called  *Dasuki.*_
_* When  U see  government money and refuse to chop and refuse to allow make people chop, so tay hunger come dey wire dem, an your main men come deh chop deh blame “rats and cockroaches and spirits”that one is called *Buhari.*_

RESTRUCTURE BRAHAHA

On Cheap talk and lack of basic knowledge of history 
“1999 constitution is a quasi-replica of the 1979 constitution. Its drafting was spearheaded by 3 legal luminaries Rotimi Williams,  Richard Akinjide and Ben Nwabueze.  The constitution drafting Committee had 59 members ( 40 from the south and 19 from the North ) and submitted to the constituent assembly for ratification. The lopsided membership in favour of the south was repeated at the 2014 Confab under GEJ) that they insist in implementing over and above the powers of the National Assembly.  Those who are now shouting to high heavens against the 1999 constitution are students of the same trio who drafted the 1979 in the first place which was replicated in the 1999 constitution that they love to tag as military imposed constitution for a new one. The military did not impose any constitution. Despite their incursions, the military was responsible for using it’s fiat to put together basic infrastructure including all the states ( except Midwestern state in the first Republic), the politicians are fond of bickering even if projects are of national interests. The politicians did not create a single LG either. We should appreciate the military as the only disciplined group to have held this country together. Talk, blackmail,  shifting blames in the name of freedom and democracy are cheap.  Imagine half of the National Assembly is full of civil society and military,  Anticorruption laws would have been passed and loots recovered in weeks for the use of all Nigerians. The bail funds wouldn’t have been diverted, nor shall we see over  60 Senior Advocates in one court to defend one person.”