Category: Entertainment

LIVING

Stop complaining.

Very touching message.
A beautiful post ……….from one mother to another mother

Forwaded as received ….

There were days when My home used to be filled with laughter, arguments, fights, jokes and loads of mischief.

Books used to be strewn all over the show. Pens and books all over, and clothes messing the rooms, thrown on the beds.

I used to shout at them to tidy up their mess.

In the morning:

One will wake up and say :
Mama I can’t find a certain book.

And the other will say : I can’t find my perfume,

And one will say : Mama where’s my homework.

And another : Mama I forgot to complete my homework.

Everyone used to ask about their lost possessions. And I will say, but take care of your stuff, be responsible, you have to grow up.

And today I stand at the doorway of the room. The beds are empty. All the cupboards have only a few pieces of clothes in them. And what remains is the smell of perfume that lingers in the air.

Everyone had a special smell. So I take in the smell of their perfume for maybe it will fill the empty ache in my heart.

All I have now is the memory of their laughs and their mischief and their warm hugs.

Today my house is clean and organized and everything is in its place, and it is calm and peaceful. But it is like a desert with no life in it. Do not become angry with your kids about the mess.

Every time they come to visit and they spend time with us, when they are ready to leave. They pull their bags and it is as if they tug my heart along with it.

They close the door behind them and then I stand still and think of the many times I shouted them to close the doors.

Here I am today, closing my own doors. Nobody opens it besides me. Each one gone to a different city or a different country. All left to find their own path in life.

They have grown up and I wished that they could stay with me forever.

Oh! God….. Take care of them & all other children wherever they may be, for you are their guide and their protector …and always keep them happy.
πŸ™πŸ™
If yr children are still in d stage that u need to talk & talk before they could get things done in the house, pls. cherish & endure it with joy, don’t nag, they will soon leave yr home for you, remember they were not there at the beginning of yr marriage. Now that they are around, make them happy. πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€
Dedicated to all mothers and fathers.

IS PASSWORD IN ALL CASES GOOD?

Three friends had an accident in a car and became unconscious. A stranger got to the scene and wanted to call for help. He had no phone. ​There were six mobile phones in the accident car but all had password on them​.
They all died as a result….!

A pregnant lady collapsed at home with her little daughter. The little girl had no idea of what was happening but saw her mother gasping for air. ​She picked her mother’s phone to call her Daddy but there was a password on the phone​.
She lost her life…..!

Whose fault?

​My advice is this.​
You are too precious than the information you are securing on your phone.

Only put password on your WhatsApp, Text messages, Facebook, files, etc and leave the call side free. You may one day save your life or the life of your loved ones.

​The password on your phone can be your death warrant.​

Think twice.

A message worth spreading…..creating awareness is real HUMANITY than sympathising or emphathising on the situation….

Entertainment

The wife checked her husband’s phone and found these names:

– The tender one

– the amazing one

– Lady of my dreams

The wife got angry and called the first number to find out that was his mother

, and then called the second number his sister replied back . She dialed the third her own phone rang !!!!

She cried until she got her eyes swollen because she doubted her husband, so she gave him her monthly salary to make up for her sin.

Once his mother knew of the story, she sold her jewelery and gave him the money

The husband took the money and bought a gift for his girlfriend which her name was saved as “Moses  the electrician.

Happy weekend everyone.πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

Entertainment

*A South African tweeted ” MY PRESIDENT IS THE WORST PRESIDENT EVER*! *WHY SHOULD THERE BE ELECTRICITY FOR 23 HOURS OUT OF 24 HOURS? HOW CAN CITIZENS BE IN DARKNESS FOR ONE WHOLE HOUR*? *I’M SO UPSET RIGHT NOW*!”

And then a Nigerian man quote and retweeted. *_”Come to my country, you won’t even have battery to type this nonsense*_”πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

CHOP CHOP PALAVER

*DIFFERENT GRADES OF CHOPPING IN GOVERNMENT.* πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬
_* When U chop alone in government and no one chop with U, dem dey call that one *OBJ.*_
_* When U chop in government, come allow others to chop their own, that is called *IBB.*_
_* When U chop in government, come bring democracy and people come forget say U chop, that is called *Abdusallam.*_
_* When U chop in government and the place U are choping eventually fold up, that is called *Atiku.*_
_* When U dey chop in government, U no remember your driver, secretary, office assistants, that is called *Gowon.*_
_* When U dey chop alone in government, no remember anybody, so tay dem come drive U comot, that one is called *Shonekan.*_
_* When dem just appoint U for government position, and U just chop small, auditors kon come say bring all papers, that is called *Nwodo.*_
_* When U chop in government and U die while chopping, that is called *Abacha.*_
_* When U chop and drink in government so tey U come intoxicate, and others come dey do U wayo, dey chop their own join, that is called *Goodluck Jonathan.*_
_* When U over-chop in government and U call your friends to come chop their own, that is called *Ibori.*_
_* When U chop and clean mouth like say U no chop anything, that is called *Fashola.*_
_* When U chop in government, come dey abuse people wey give U opportunity to chop, that one is called *El-Rufai.*_
_* When U chop from government, come spread your boys for government, dem dey chop U dey chop, dem dey chop U dey chop, that one is called *Tinubu.*_
_* When U chop in government so teeey U scatter ground, three houses for America, two for London, six for Maitama, seven for V.I, as madam dey go shopping for Dubai, children dey go summer for Spain, EFCC kon gbab U, that one is called *Diezani.*_
_* When U chop well well for government and people know say U chop well well but U dey deny say U chop well well, that one is called Rotimi *Amaechi.*_
_* When U chop in government so tay U come even dey richer than the place U dey chop from, that one is called *Rochas.*_
_* When U chop and chop so tey U come tire, come begin dey distribute the chopping to other people, that one is called  *Dasuki.*_
_* When  U see  government money and refuse to chop and refuse to allow make people chop, so tay hunger come dey wire dem, an your main men come deh chop deh blame “rats and cockroaches and spirits”that one is called *Buhari.*_

EntertainmentΒ 

A newly married couple was walking through a garden, suddenly a dog ran towards them.
They both knew it will bite them…
The husband lifted his wife to let the dog bite him rather than his sweetheart.
The dog stopped before them, unsure what to do, barked a little while & ran away.
The husband put his wife down, expecting a hug & a few kind words of gratitude from her.
But his wife shouted “I’ve seen people throwing stones & sticks at dogs, this is the first time I am seeing someone trying to throw his wife at a dog”
Moral : A Wife is a Wife 
“No One ELSE Can MIS-UNDERSTAND a Husband Better, than a Wife.”
Husband it is well. Take heart it is part of the challenges of being a husband.πŸ€“

THE BEST CAR

The best car in the world is a woman… Ask me why
—2 beautiful headlights in the front

—2 great bumpers at the back.

—Self -lubricating when hot.

—Finger touch ignition.

—Automatic engine oil change every month. 

—Any type of piston fits. 

—Multiple seating styles & adjustments.

—Great accessories.

—Highest mileage 9months with just 5ml refill.
“That’s why MEN are dying to own one”: please send to the other luxurious cars u know, and to the men who appreciate fine vehicles. πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ

RICHER OR POORER

Which ONE ARE YOU..

LARRY or HARRY?
Larry and Harry, two homeless men were given a chance to travel to a third world country on an all-expenses paid trip. They were told to carry nothing and return with nothing…
They were to make sure they spend all that was given to them. Provision had been made for their expenses and welfare which they would get upon arrival at their destination. 

The only caveat was that neither of them knew when they would be asked to return home. 
As they arrived, they were both given a huge sum of money and a credit card with no limits, but reminded to spend it all before returning to their home country. At this, they became instantly wealthy by local standards.
 Harry thought to himself “Wow!

This is my opportunity to live like a king for I don’t know how long this would last”. So he went and rented a Ferrari and rented the best room in the best hotel in town. 
He went to the best stylist, shaved and transformed his looks. He had parties everyday. Everyone in the city thought the cars and the wealth were his and they loved and respected him for it. 
But..
At the back of his mind, Harry knew he would go back home someday and leave all of it behind but he didn’t want to think about it.
Right now he was living in the moment and enjoying himself to the fullest…
Larry, on the other hand rented a small Honda to get him around town and stayed in a modest inn. He thought to himself “This money will not last and I don’t know when I am going back so I have to do something tangible with it.” He decided to use it to change some people’s lives while there was still time.
So he got busy, went out on the streets and started making a difference. He didn’t just give away money, rather he tried to help

people be self-sufficient. He paid off all the school fees of some promising young ones to enable them get an education and take

care of themselves and their families. 
He found some responsible adults and funded them in a business that guaranteed they would be able to take care of their family and create employment. He devised a means of helping some of the homeless people get off the street and getting them into a trade for he thought “I wish someone would do this for me when I get back”. In short, while Larry was there, he was busy changing lives…

Then after just two months they were suddenly notified that it was time to go back.

They hadn’t even finished spending all the money but still had to leave it all. 

They both said their goodbyes and headed for the airport. At the airport they were given their original clothes to put back on before boarding the plane back to their country…
Harry reminisced on the good times he had but wasn’t too happy that he was going back to his old life. How would he readjust to being homeless? 
Larry on the other hand felt good. He came with nothing and is leaving with nothing, but he at least helped others with a chance at life and that alone meant the world to him.

Readjusting to being a homeless person wouldn’t be a problem because he never lived like the wealth was his anyway and always had it at the back of his mind that he would leave it all someday.
But…

Little did they know that each moment they spent on vacation was being secretly recorded and they would be rewarded accordingly.
Now, which one do you think would be cast back out to the slums as a homeless person and which one would be entrusted with large sums of wealth and position of authority?

 The same goes with our lives here on earth. 
We are sent here on a mission and will return empty handed except for the recordings of our dealings here on earth. Yet, many of us walk around thinking that the wealth we have is ours to keep forever. We look at ourselves in the mirror and think that what we see will always be there, forgetting that we are wearing a temporary cloth, a human body, that would be required of us before we leave this world. 
Our vacation on earth is but a short time while eternity is forever. How we spend this vacation determines how we get to spend eternity.
So….
HOW ARE YOU LIVING YOUR LIFE?

ARE YOU LARRY OR HARRY?
Think about itβ€Όβ€Όβ€Ό

ENTERTAINMENTΒ 

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚I cant stop laughing, I just love these kids…
*Teacher:* How old is your father?

*Kid:* He is 6 years.

*Teacher:* What? How is this possible?

*Kid:* He became father only when I was born.

Logic!!πŸ‘ŒπŸ˜³
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Children Are Quick and Always Speak Their Minds

_______________________________

*TEACHER:*   Joseph, go to the map and find North America . 

*JOSEPH:*        Here it is. 

*TEACHER:*  Correct.  Now class, who discovered America ? 

*CLASS:* Joseph.πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»
_______________________________

*TEACHER:*   Wale, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? 

*WALE:*  You told me to do it without using the tables.

πŸ—„πŸ“πŸ“•πŸ“˜πŸ““_____________________________

*TEACHER:*  Adigun , how do you spell ‘crocodile?’ 

*ADIGUN:*     K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’ 

*TEACHER:*  No, that’s wrong 

*ADIGUN:*      Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.   

(I  Love this child) 🐊🐊

____________________________

*TEACHER:*  Rebecca , what is the chemical formula for water? 

*REBECCA :*   H I J K L M N O. 

*TEACHER:* What are you talking about? 

*REBECCA:*  Yesterday you said it’s H to O.   �‍♀�‍♂

____________________________

*TEACHER:* Moses, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago. 

*MOSES:*      Me! πŸ™‹β€β™‚

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*TEACHER:*   Abraham, why do you always get so dirty?         

*ABRAHAM:*       Well, I’m a  lot closer to the ground than you are.    πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘¦  

____________________________

*TEACHER:* George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Peter , do you know why his father didn’t punish him? 

*PETER:*          Because George still had  the axe in his hand……     πŸ”¨πŸ”¨

______________________________ 

*TEACHER:*      Buwembo, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s.. Did you copy his? 

*BUWEMBO :*      No sir, It’s the same dog.   πŸ•πŸ•

(I want to adopt this kid!!!) 

____________________________

*TEACHER:*    Femi, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? 

*FEMI:*     A teacher πŸ˜€πŸ‘Ί

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_PASS  IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH! LAUGHTER  IS THE SOUL’S MEDICINE!!_

πŸ˜€πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜„πŸ˜πŸ˜†πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚οΏ½πŸ˜οΏ½

DOUBLE STANDARDΒ 

“WHEN BLACK IS WHITE AND WHITE IS BLACK….
1. When a white Christian American or British uses a gun or bomb to kill people, they are labelled as mentally deranged gunmen or bombers!
2. When a black Christian American or British uses a gun or bomb to kill people, they are called gangsters!
3. When an Arab Muslim or African Muslim uses a gun or bomb to kill people, they are called terrorists!
4. In Nigeria, if terrorists from the Niger Delta use guns and bombs to destroy people and infrastructure, they are called militants! But if they are from northern Nigeria, they are called terrorists or insurgents!
5. In the same Nigeria, if Shekau wants to break up Nigeria and wants to “secede” a portion of it for his brand of Islamic nation, he is called a terrorist! But when a certain Nnamdi Kanu wants to also break up Nigeria, and wants to “secede” a portion of it for a so called Biafra Republic, he isn’t called a terrorist but an AGITATOR!
Okay, just in case you don’t understand my gist, I mean to say that some people prefer to call rapists as sex abusers just to make them look less bad!”